A quick note regarding my background and interest in psychology. I went into counseling psychology proper, first a masters in counseling and guidance, and then a PhD in counseling psychology. I went into psychology for a very different reason than many people do. I did not go in to be all helpful and some empathetic, sympathetic person (of which I am) to help people. This comes as a great surprise to many people because they assume knowing how kind I typically am that if you go into the mental health arena that you’re out to help people.

I went into psychology for a very different reason. I went into psychology to learn how to analyze people. So, I went into it to learn how to, in a very sophisticated way, diagnose and analyze people in a psychological fashion. Furthermore, I wanted to do this in a very surreptitious way. This means I’ll ask someone a question in one area of life, say politics. Then based on having studied research, depending on their answer I can then predict potentially their attitudes on certain sexual beliefs they most likely hold. Yes, it is conniving, deceptive perhaps, and any other negative adjectives you want to apply.

Now, I once was attempting to date a woman that I had met online, and I told her the above information. She happened to be a physician’s assistant and had for years seen patients. She said to me that sounds very psychopathic. I said to her what do you mean psychopathic? That is quite a hefty statement to wage on a person. I said to her and I gave her this analogy. Suppose you know a person who goes into physics and engineering in college. After college, they have two options, one to go into a company that helps make prosthetics for people who have lost a limb in war or an accident. It’s a very honorable profession, making a limb that now a person has an arm , hand, leg or foot to be able to function fairly normally again. Most of us would say that’s very nice. That same person with that same skill set also has the option to go into a company and make the new AR-15 assault rifle that can dispense more rounds more quickly than previous versions. The person is trained with the same set of skills, the same knowledge base in physics and engineering. They chose one of two paths. Another example…Think about a person who goes into biology or chemistry. They can learn all of the bio, chemistry etc. Now this person can go into a company/hospital setting and come up with a new medication that helps cure disease etc. On the other hand, they can go into a company and come up with a new biochemical component for warfare. Here they will make an entire group of people sick and maybe die. Again, this person has two different paths to go down.

The point here is people can be trained in whatever area they want, and then make a choice as to which path they go down. I’m in the same position. I am trained with the skill set, and knowledge basis to analyze people which is what you need to do to be able to diagnose people and treat them psychologically. I just simply did not go down the mental health route of trying to save the world. This is very confusing to a lot of people because they just make the base assumption… If you go into mental health, you’re out to help people. Yes, I’m very capable and competent to be able to help people psychologically. Mine is technically a neutral path. Mine is not one to hurt people like in the case of coming up with a new AR-15. Nor is it to come up with a new chemical component for a biological weapon. I’m just simply going into it to learn how to analyze people on a daily basis.

I understand that people find this offensive, off-putting, and nerve inducing. The reality is that I have literally been rejected now by 4 or 5 women online, simply because they know I’m trained as a psychologist. This is because they realize that therapists/psychologists are trained to not take a patient’s complaint at face value. That is why we ask initially the open ended question or some derivation of, “what brings you into therapy?”. The point is you can come in with a given complaint as an example (partner issues) and then we find out that is actually a symptom. Of another issue or a “deeper” issue. Merely as a quick example, problems with your career path.

Yes, I am trained to be able to do this as are all therapists/psychologists who see patients. Yet again the point is I went into psychology to be able to assess people surreptitiously many times without them being aware of what I am doing. This is the skill set of all clinically trained mental health professionals. However, I just put out this viewpoint explicitly without apology. This is what bothers a lot of people. I’m pulling back the curtain, and not hiding it.