SYNOPSIS:

I have yet to come across a person who can define “traditional” and similar terms in a way that does not discriminate against some group in some way shape or form! If you can define these terms and such in a non-discriminatory way please enlighten me.

The reality is that when people want to discriminate in any form that they/themselves find acceptable they will invoke these terms and others/phrases to justify the discrimination.
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I have yet to come across a person who can define “traditional” and similar terms in a way that does not discriminate against some group in some way shape or form! If you can define it these terms and such in a non-discriminatory way please enlighten me.

First off definitions. If you read the title and you are now going to try to shift the goal posts and define the concepts for yourself here are the two problems. One, you are doing it to fit your agenda for discrimination. Two, if we all use differing definitions then any definition goes anytime. I can change the definition anytime I want to fit my agenda and communication between people becomes meaningless.

On a different topic in case you are very passionate about the above concepts and cannot tackle this issue objectively think of “spirituality.” This is a term that means many different things to many people. I don’t think I have ever heard two people agree upon a concrete identical definition. I’m guessing this is because most people consider it to be dynamic and ever changing.

The reality is that when people want to discriminate in any form that they/themselves find acceptable they will invoke these terms and others/phrases to justify the discrimination. As an example in my phd program was in counseling psychology, an area that prides itself on equality and non-discrimination there was a woman who got engaged. I asked her, “so how did you propose?” She looked at me as if I was an idiot and said “X” proposed to me. Of course I anticipated this, and she said “I’m just more traditional that way.” I didn’t say this to her, but what I think she intended is that men should propose to women! This is discrimination based on gender period end of discussion.

Think of all the couples you know. Yes, you will bring up the token couple where the woman proposed. Great you have a counter example or maybe a few. However look at the statistics on it. Out of the dozens or hundreds couples you have known the vast majority of the time in the U.S. men propose to women. That is the reality of the situation. May say it is harmless yet consider this. I pointed out to a heterosexual female feminist friend of mine the following. Why are women denying men the emotional exhilaration of being being proposed to like you see on YouTube when the women flip out some literally faint? My friend being very egalitarian and equal minded said, “I never considered the guys being denied that emotional experience.”

The major problem is the following. Yes some of these invocations are innocuous. If you invoke the above terms or others then any other person can in a way that you find absolutely abhorrent, disgusting and literally inhumane at times do the same. Examples include you say women should have equal rights, oh let us say the right to vote. Then I counter with, “I’m more traditional and believe women should not have the right to vote.” After all, historically in this country the vast majority of how you define “traditional” women have not had the right to vote. The point here is why should your position be more legitimate than mine? Why should your position hold more weight? Again the history of our country did not allow women to vote. History is on my side in that debate.

When we saw the white supremacists march, many thought they were terrible people. However they can again invoke “tradition” or “I was raised this way.” Now onto an even more euphemistic concept.

The term “customary” is simply a way of back pedaling and saying that because something is done this way now and by many it is okay. However, I believe what is happening is that people realize what they are doing at the core is discriminatory but use this term to tap into the support of the majority. It’s the Bandwagon Fallacy which is basically because everyone is doing it then it is okay.

If you want to invoke chivalry, tradition, “I was raised that way,” customary or similar concepts then any of the ideas below are 100% legitimate. You should not be mean be derogatory or discriminate against people with these beliefs.

Women should not be able to vote.

Men should be the head of the household.

African Americans are 3/5th of a person. Of course they can’t vote.

Women should stay at home.

Men must ask women on dates and propose marriage.

Of course men should/must pay for dates.

Men hold doors open for women because they can’t for themselves.

America really should only have whites as citizens.

No immigrants allowed.

These are just a few of hundreds of beliefs of which most people reading my blog with find not ridiculous but abhorrent and disgusting and wondering if I am joking.

The final point is the next time you think to utter these above terms or phrases or other similar ones think twice. Think, how does this term/phrase justify in this situation my discriminating based on race, sex, gender, age, sexual orientation, etc? Then privately realize that you do genuinely discriminate in that area and are giving yourself permission to do it by invoking these terms. Try to correct yourself. Otherwise trump is justified and equally valid as you in all of his beliefs and ideas independent of party lines and agendas. You are just discriminating in a way that you are conformable with at the end of the day. Shame on you for being elitist and thinking your way is best and your form of discrimination is acceptable and right.