Mythbusters #2: The lie detector, and how to cheat it.

Oh what a fun device. I will say this, in every class that I have taught at the college level I go over how to pass the lie detector. Tragically, I have seen the students frantically jotting down notes on this part of the course. I do this because the “test” actually will indicate people are guilty when they absolutely are not. This is known in psychometric jargon as a false positive.

Many of you may have seen the Ocean’s movie series where they show the counter measure of a tac in the shoe. Yes that is fine. Here is how the whole system works…

First off read the book, “A Tremor in the blood.” by David Lykken an absolute expert on this subject who has sadly passed.

The “lie detector” actually does not detect lies at all. In psychology it is actually known as the polygraph. This is more appropriate because it measures respiration, sweating in the palms, blood pressure and pulse. It really is simply measuring multiple physiological readings. The basic premise of the test is when the administrator asks questions, the “who done it question” or “gotcha” question comes up and shows guilt. If the person has elevated measures on the above mentioned indices then they are deemed guilty or lying.

To see that your measurements on the above physiological readings mentioned are elevated on the “gotcha” questions is give you what are called control questions. These are questions of which are unequivocally objectively observable true or false. These can vary, such as the following. Are you in a building? Is it daytime or night time? Are you wearing clothing? Are you wearing a hat? As you can see very basic obvious yes and or no questions.

Now here is what the movies do not show you. Many people ask how do I know what are the “control” questions and what are the “gotcha” questions. Well,the polygraph administrator actually MUST go through the entire list of questions first when you are not being physiologically monitored! Guess why?…They have to go through every question word for word because you need to know every word and what the question means. For example if I am the administrator and ask you if something is tantamount, ubiquitous, ostentatiously etc. and you don’t know the meanings of a word, then you will have an elevated response physiologically on the question with the unknown word due to the anxiety alone of not knowing the word. This elevation will then cause artificial elevated readings regardless if they are only on the “gotcha” questions. Also they may cause artificial reading on the control questions for that matter too. This is the problem. Due to your anxiety you may answer in a seemingly “guilty” way. This is exactly why polygraphs/lie detectors are so useless and lead to false positives or guilty conclusions more than showing the person is not lying or not guilty, in other words innocent.

How to pass even if guilty or lying!

To “cheat” the test all you have to do is the following… Please keep in mind you want to follow these techniques even if innocent simply because way too many false positives or false guilty conclusions are reached. When they go through the list of questions when not hooked up to equipment you pay attention to the “control” questions. Again, obviously clear yes or no answers (in a building, wearing a hat, day or night, etc.) and notice the “gotcha” questions. Did you kill her with a knife (they know the answer and the killer does)?

Now the counter measures. When they ask the “control” questions when you are hooked up to the measuring devices, you clench your anal sphincter muscle (yes your butthole). This is very hard to physically monitor. Another countermeasure is to count back by serial 7’s from 100 as they ask the “control” question. Remember you will recognize these since they HAVE to go through the list of questions first unattached to the equipment. Either of these two countermeasures and especially in combination will increase your physiological recordings on the “control” questions. Then when they ask you the “gotcha” questions relax as much as possible. Also, probably the most important part of this entire charade is your thinking the polygraph is absolute bullshit. Then it makes it easy to enact these behaviors and thoughts and thus with this mindset you can relax! If any of this is unclear please contact me.

What pisses me the fuck off is that many of the people who administer the polygraph have no fucking background in psychology. Many times they are retired cops or detectives who simply went through a several day course of how to administer and interpret the test. Last time I checked, it was five thousand dollars for the course for a Friday through Sunday three day seminar!!!!

Also, what amuses me is that they gave the polygraph/“lie detector” to the woman accusing Kanvanaugh of sexual misconduct. She is a a fucking psychologist. I don’t know her background but she can in 30 minutes of an internet search with a Ph.D. figure it out and how to pass it. I’m not taking away from her testimony at all (I completely believe her) I’m simply saying she has the knowledge base for the “test” to be a waste of time. I simply laughed hearing she passed it. I thought to myself what idiot would give the polygraph to a psychologist, or anyone with grad school education in psychology?

I will also give a warning that there are new neurological measurements that do have better rates of success. However, still those are expensive and many times lawyers etc. rely on this simpler method.

I actually did an internet search for the neurological approach. One costs 10,000$ to go through an Fmri. Tragically, the researcher who developed it stated that it was not his intention for couples to use it to see if their spouse is cheating on them! Yet apparently some well off individuals will pay that amount.